[13] Filch also did not care for Hagrid as a professor and treated him as if he were inferior, possibly because he was half-giant. The strange gifts he has, and isn't going to question, should help in that regard. Dumbledore is not indifferent to the risk that runs the world of magic and only one person can destroy the terrifying monster, the king of knights . Speaking of strange, ever wondered how you have sex with a ghost? So this erotic fanfic has a little bit to offer to both the canon fans and the WolfStar believers. It's rather depraved. The other teachers, who could have removed the swamp in an instant, preferred instead to watch Umbridge struggle. Destiny is not written in stone Before he can process these recent events, he and many others are invited to the Room of Requirement to read a very special set of books. Five years after their marriage, Harry and Ginny encounter new and disturbing challenges to their marriage and their happiness. He left Harry and ran to find Peeves, excited that he might finally be able to pursuade Dumbledore to kick Peeves out of Hogwarts. It was during a day like the others that certain Harry Potter characters found themselves locked up in a house. [68] During the Start-of-Term Feast, Albus Dumbledore informed the students that Filch had asked him to remind the them that there was a blanket ban on any joke items bought at Fred and George Weasley's shop, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. [65] Due to all those misdeeds, Filch prowled the corridors with a horsewhip ready in his hands, desperate to catch students in the act, but the problem was that there were now so many of them, he never knew which way to turn. Harry felt no dread, no terror, no anger or fury or resentment. She, however, met Peeves on the way, who chased her from the premises, whacking her alternately with Minerva McGonagall's walking stick and a sock full of chalk as the students and teachers watched. ! Came the screeching of Molly Weasley who had taken to clearing Lockhearts signing table and laying spread eagle on her back, knickers round her ankles. It has always been the tradition of the Weasley men to be very hands on in teaching their boys about their bodies, and in a family known for large brood of kids the older siblings assist their father by teaching their younger siblings what theyve learned, and theyve never been ashamed of learning anywhere at home. Harry Potter and Georgia knightly have suffered at both the same night.join them through their journey with their friends at their times in Hogwarts the good and bad. [70] Unbeknownst to Harry, Filch and Pince had indeed shared a romantic relationship starting in 1989, when the two attended the Valentine's Day Ball together. [6] He had long hair with a bald spot on the top of his head and quivery jowls. He seemed to be bitter and embarrassed about not being able to use magic, as was demonstrated when Harry Potter accidentally discovered his Kwikspell letters in 1992. [70], After Harry Potter's discovery of the Half-Blood Prince's copy of Advanced Potion-Making, he learnt several new spells such as Langlock, a jinx that glued the victim's tongue to the roof of the mouth. No matter what your interests, if youre a Harry Potter fan (and who isnt? [35], At the beginning of the 1992-1993 school year, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley arrived at school, not via the Hogwarts Express, but in Arthur Weasley's Flying Ford Anglia; Minerva McGonagall, their Head of House, gave them different punishments. [69] Filch, however, was hoodwinked by Fred and George's Owl order service, in which their products came disguised as perfumes and cough potions. Or even just one page. I had no idea Percy Weasley and Oliver Wood were such a popular pairing until I started doing research for this article, at which point I uncovered a whole slew of Percy/Oliver erotica. Best Funny Harry Potter Fanfiction. Lots of sex. He also told Professor Dumbledore, in what he said was the four-hundred-and-sixty second time, to remind the students that magic was not permitted in corridors between classes.[53]. Filch, unaware of what was happening, came to Professor McGonagall shouting that students were out of bed. Were giving away a stack of our 20 favorite books of the year. Editors Note, 6/22/2020: Following are the works of independent creators. [81] The caretaker stayed in the Castle during the battle,[82] although it is unknown how, as a Squib, he participated in the battle; perhaps he stayed to tend to the fighters' injuries or to aid the Hogwarts forces with his extensive knowledge of the Castle layout and secret passages. "Min ymmrrn kyll. Argus Filch seemed so interested in punishing rebellious students in the old manners. [72] Filch thought that Hagrid was an oaf, and he also told Mrs Norris, his cat, to watch Hagrid when he entered the castle. Harry Potter and the Last Horcrux by Mike. [9] Filch never ceased his futile efforts to get Peeves expelled from the castle, and Peeves never stopped taunting Filch. [70], In the evening of 1 March, 1997, as Rubeus Hagrid was escorting Harry Potter and Hermione Granger from the Hospital Wing where Ronald Weasley stayed after ingesting poisoned mead, Filch came across them threatening the students with detention. Out of the Fire and into the Cupboard by HalfASlug. Yes, this is Draco Malfoy and an apple. [65], Umbridge had gone through great lengths to gain Filch's loyalty, such as giving him permission to torture, and to have Peeves dismissed, due to Filch's knowledge around the school's secret passageways being second only to the Weasley twins. As Snape discussed with Filch, he wanted to take those objects in order to find who they belonged to (suspecting that they were Harry's). Book Riot no longer promotes J.K. Rowling in light of statements she has made against the trans community. And above all, who is the mysterious and elusive guest? #1. Yes, this is a brother/brother smut story. [52], Yerse I've been telling Dumbledore for years and years he's too soft with you all. [9], Later on, Filch and Madam Pomfrey oversaw the evacuation procedure of underage students and of those not willing to fight, via the Room of Requirement. [14], He was also very domineering, controlling and paranoid, as demonstrated by the numerous times he asked students what they were doing when they were simply wandering around in what he thought was a suspicious manner.[42]. Umbridge and her Inquisitorial Squad then managed to catch the students leaving the Room of Requirement and Harry Potter, head of the organisation, was taken to the Headmaster's office while joined by Umbridge, Edgecombe, Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall, the Minister for Magic Cornelius Fudge and his Junior Assistant Percy Weasley, and two Aurors. Under Umbridge, Filch walked around in an extremely good mood. Some Romione erotica highlights from other authors: In Midnight Swimby lrthunder, Hermione finds Ron skinny dipping, and the situation quickly escalates. He literally cant live without sex and he doesnt care who knows it. Hagrid vouched for them, but Filch rudely undermined Hagrid's authority as a teacher, with Hagrid insulting Filch for being a Squib in retaliation. [4], Harry Potter: Hogwarts MysteryArgus' sceptical personality against Jacob's sibling party invitation, In the 19841985 school year, Filch and Mrs Norris found the cursed ice. [59] Later that same month, after Gryffindor's abysmal performance in their Quidditch match against Hufflepuff, the Slytherin sang Weasley is Our King so loudly and frequently that Filch banned the song from the corridors out of sheer irritation.[60]. Community content is available under. by Sarah1281. On occasion, he fruitlessly scrubbed the message with Mrs Skower's All-Purpose Magical Mess Remover, but to no effect. Harry Potter and The Last Horcrux is not like most HP fanfiction. Midway through the train ride, the Dementors board the train and Harry's life is never the same. This story a sweet mix of unrequited love and BDSM. It's me, Harry." Harry said calmly. [13], Filch lived in a dingy and windowless office containing filing cabinets with detailed records of all the students Filch had disciplined. When he got to the Owlery, he found Harry Potter (who had just sent a letter for Sirius Black) and Cho Chang (who was sending her mother a parcel for her birthday). tip: "uchiha sasuke/uzumaki naruto" angst kudos>10. Thank you for signing up! The Harry Potter Wiki has 156 images related to, *Disclosure: Some of the links above are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, Fandom will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. Egg? [15] In the 1977-1978 school year, Filch, probably on a tip-off from Severus Snape, whose obsession it had become to expose his arch-rival, James Potter in wrongdoing, confiscated the Marauder's Map after the Marauders over-reached themselves and were cornered. He always begged Headmaster Albus Dumbledore to let him suspend students by their ankles from the ceiling. Hearing this, Filch thought that Peeves stole the egg. Harry's 6th year is off to a rough start. and the two argued loudly as Harry and Hermione hurried off on Hagrid's instruction. Collections: 1 599 Kudos: 1124 Bookmarks: 263 Hits: 50961 Inanimate objects get involved inFirst Encounterby Lyris Malachi. [77] At night, while not patrolling the corridors, Filch wore an old flannel dressing gown. [8], Near the start of the 19891990 school year, Jacob's sibling approached Filch in his office, where they asked him if he had seen their brother Jacob who had been spotted on school grounds. [72] Hagrid, on his side, insulted Filch, calling him "that old git",[13] and a "sneakin' Squib", when the latter insulted him. Now that we are all fed and watered I must once more ask for your attention, while I give out a few notices. - " --", . [54] He was also probably the one to affix the notices with the Decree on the noticeboards of the Common Rooms. [2] Filch also had a difficulty in recognising potions, due to his lack of magical knowledge as he did not notice the love potions disguised as perfumes and cough potions by the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes,[70] nor did he notice the poisoned mead sent in by Madam Rosmerta (while under the Imperius Curse cast by Draco Malfoy), showing he was not particularly observant despite his obsessive personality. In it, Harry Potter is taking (you guessed it) a nightly stroll when he finds his girlfriend Ginny and his enemy Draco in a compromising position. The full list comprises some four hundred and thirty-seven items, I believe, and can be viewed in Mr Filch's office, if anybody would like to check it.Albus Dumbledore starts his announcements over the Start-of-Term Feast, Before the start of the school term, Filch extended the list of forbidden objects within the school premises so that it included four hundred and thirty-seven items, including Screaming Yo-yos, Fanged Frisbees, and Ever-Bashing Boomerangs. If youre in it for the long haul, this particular fic is 61 chapters long. EvenTom Feltonhas said that Drapple is his one of his favorite Harry Potter fan pairings. Harry Potter is such a beautiful, erotic boy, and Gilderoy will have him wrapped tightly around his finger in the time it takes you to say Boggart. Harry, Miles, and Rue haven't been actual siblings since their first year, afterwards they completely separated to their own Houses and worlds: Harry; a Gryffindor, Rue; a Hufflepuff, and Miles: a Ravenclaw. [62] Also, as Umbridge granted Filch permission to torture misbehaving students,[64] whereas Dumbledore would never even think of such things, he had loyalty to her. It is rumoured that he used to clean the shackles in his office hoping the Headmaster would let him use them on students again one day. Velhomaailmassa on monia erikoisia perinteit, jotkut niist ovat Harrylle iloisia ylltyksi. Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 41 - Words: 178,099 . On the night stand, beside a plate that was empty but for a few crumbs, lay his wand and glasses. He hummed creakily under his breath, under the prospect of the changes Umbridge had announced him. Work Search: Before he can process these recent events, he and many others are invited to the Room of Requirement to read a very special set of books. P.S. Professor, something is poking my bum. Ginnys Self-Help Fantasyby mercuryidols dives into Ginny Weasleys secret lesbian fantasies about Hermione Granger. Remus catches their breath, eyes opening as they wake. The two shared a strong bond that linked them somehow; anytime Mrs Norris spotted someone breaking a rule, Filch would arrive soon afterwards.[13]. Like why he hates students so much. His surname, "Filch", is an English word meaning "to steal", usually in a sneaky manner. Rating: M The Dragon's Bride by Rizzle - Draco and Hermione wake up naked, hungover, and tattoo'd. And did we mention married? Dumbledore then knocked down the Ministry officials, and left the school undetected. Argus Filch was a rheumatic man[62] with hunched-shoulders[9] and a hunchback. Once again, this story features the surprise star of M/M Harry Potter erotica, Percy Weasley. Albus is having the worst birthday ever, and James comes to his rescue. Harry Potter Fanfic Harry And Hermione. Filch usually wandered around the school corridors with his cat Mrs Norris, trying to catch students breaking the school rules and complaining about Peeves the Poltergeist . On the former's first afternoon as Headmistress, Fred and George Weasley set off an enormous crate of Weasleys' Wildfire Whiz-bangs which spread all over the school. Ronald Weasley demanded to know what did it matter if the students were smuggling Dark objects out of the premises, and his cheek earned him a few jabs with the Sensor. Thus, the caretaker started to support Umbridge and follow her orders. WARNING-NSFW-ONESIDED LOVE/RELATIONSHIP IS TOXIC-FEMALE HARRY IS NAMED HENRIETTA-NONCONSENSUAL BODY MODIFICATION AND BODY HORROR-TAGGED NSFW, EXPLICIT AND DARK JUST TO BE SAFE-EXPLICIT. What the hell? [43] Filch searched both the dungeons,[42] the Astronomy Tower and the Owlery,[43] but found no sign of him. On two occasions, he shut Mrs Norris inside a suit of armour, from which she was rescued by a furious Filch, yowling loudly. Professor Dumbledore took full responsibility for the group, and was to be escorted to the Ministry, where he would be formally charged, and then sent to Azkaban to await trial for conspiracy and sedition. [32], On their very first morning at Hogwarts, 2 September, 1991, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley managed to get on Filch's wrong side. [2] She had dust-coloured fur and yellow, lamp-like eyes. This is Aaron Taylor-Johnson from Nowhere Boy. [24], During this school year, he also caught Jacob's sibling with Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington in the Potions Classroom. Filch almost caught Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Neville Longbottom, but they successfully managed to hide in the Forbidden Corridor as Peeves refused to share any information with Filch. Molly Weasleys naked body can turn men to stone AND homosexuality. As Severus Snape was a very strict and somewhat cruel teacher, Filch respected that and acted a loyal subordinate to him. In Happy Birthday, Hermione! "Well at least we know Potter's an . [8] It's unclear whether the relationship was still going on by the time Harry attended Hogwarts, but he did see them at Dumbledore's funeral together. Harry wanted him to do stuff for money, so Gilderoy naturally did as he was told. [65], Inspired by the twins' legendary flight to freedom, a great number of students wreaked havoc in the school: Lee Jordan[66] put Nifflers into Umbridge's office, which promptly tore the place apart while searching for shiny objects and leapt on Umbridge when she entered, trying to gnaw the rings off her fingers. On one occasion, he terrified a pair of first-year girls into hysterics. [57], In the morning before the first school trip to Hogsmeade of the school year, Filch matched the names of those visiting the village to the long list of students who had permission from their parents or guardian to do so. Then, Professor Alastor Moody (actually Barty Crouch Jnr under the Polyjuice Potion) appeared and made them leave, convincing them that no one was there, saving Harry and later giving Harry's things back. They were saved by Quirinus Quirrell, who vouched for them while passing by. [77] During his funeral he sat next to Irma Pince, something Harry Potter took notice of, as he suspected a romantic relationship between the two. To annoy Filch, Peeves would trap Mrs Norris in suits of armour,[65] drop chandeliers,[65] play tennis against the Castle walls in the middle of the night,[34] stick wads of gum in keyholes[85] and caused general mayhem, which Filch was later responsible for fixing and cleaning up. [10], Little is known about Filch's early life. [30], During this school year, he tasked Jacob's sibling with finding a missing Mrs Norris. [80] It is unknown whether this was for his loyalty to Snape, his long years of service to the school, or his ability to catch troublemakers through his extensive knowledge of the Castle's secrets. [23] Following this, Jacob's sibling and Nymphadora Tonks conspired to scare Filch from his office to retrieve the notebook. Of course, as Filch had no inherent magical powers, this was of little use. There is a small corner of the Internet dedicated to those of us who prefer the canonical Harry Potter couples. If youre into other canon pairings, many of the more conventional pairings are often included in non-canon erotica. Filch, later, brought the jewel-encrusted casket with the Goblet of Fire inside. [42], Later in the evening of that same day, Sirius Black broke into the Castle and tried to enter Gryffindor Tower; this resulted in the destruction of the Fat Lady's portrait. [54] Umbridge was a sadistic woman who, like Filch, enjoyed torturing and punishing students. But when Educational Decree Number Twenty-Nine comes in, Potter, I'll be allowed to do them things and she's asked the Minister to sign an order for the expulsion of Peeves oh, things are going to be very different around here with her in charge.Filch takes Harry Potter to Headmistress Dolores Umbridge, After Lord Voldemort's return, and as part of its campaign to discredit Albus Dumbledore and Harry Potter, the Ministry of Magic instated Dolores Umbridge as Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. In the night of 21 January, 1995, Filch almost caught Harry Potter while he was on his way back to Gryffindor Tower after having been in the Prefects' bathroom trying to solve the golden egg riddle for the Triwizard Tournament. He kept his job of caretaker after the Second Wizarding War. This one features a lot of different ladies, so buckle up. [26], Filch's relationship with most professors was unknown. In the evening of 20 April, 1996, Marietta Edgecombe denounced the unsanctioned Dumbledore's Army to Dolores Umbridge. Hermione makes a brief appearance as well. [14] By the end of the 1970s, Filch had already filled at least one thousand and fifty-six boxes with punishment records. Ask Question Asked 4 years ago. Non-canon Harry Potter erotica: m/m. Filch signed the students out in a queue in the Entrance Hall. Suspecting it was linked to the Cursed Vaults, he was about to report to Dumbledore, but spotted Professor Severus Snape first and told him instead. [47] During the Hallowe'en feast on 31 October, Filch wore his mouldy old tailcoat and added chairs to accommodate Igor Karkaroff, Olympe Maxime, Ludovic Bagman, and Bartemius Crouch Senior at the Staff Table. Neville Longbottom has a romp with Luna Lovegood inWhat if I Do It Wrong? Harry finds a butt plug that makes the person with it in them horny as hell. Now for the really weird erotica, the stories that defy classification. The dark side of Gilderoy Lockhart's one-sided love for Henrietta. Seventh Horcrux by Emerald Ashes. There are so many different potential pairings and/or groupings with which fanfic authors can play around. [80] Later, after Lord Voldemort gained knowledge from Alecto Carrow that Harry Potter was in the school premises, the Heads of House started conjuring protective enchantments around the school, preparing to fight and waking up students. Dont worry, however. Filch warned Snape at once and Harry, while trying to avoid them, hid in an unused classroom and stumbled into the Mirror of Erised for the first time. What if Lockhart had prevented Harry from following the voice in the pipes? [64] They did not leave instructions on how to remove the swamp and as such, Umbridge and Filch tried fruitlessly different means of removing it. While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. Clearly, Im not the only Potterhead who feels this way as Romione erotica seems to be the most abundant out of all of the canon erotica out there. Harry Potter/Blaise Zabini/Theodor Nott/Draco Malfoy. He was going to be permitted to bring back the "old punishments" and give students whippings, and she asked the Minister for Magic to sign an order for the expulsion of Peeves, the resident Poltergeist. [67] Filch brought her her luggage, as she was stopped by a mob of Daily Prophet reporters who took pictures of her escape. [9] In keeping with his dislike for students and their inevitable tendency to create messes and disorder (which he, as caretaker, would get stuck cleaning up), Filch idolised "the old ways" of discipline and constantly lamented that he was no longer allowed to use corporal punishment. 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