She pounced on that and tried to make it seem like using soap was somehow inconsiderate. Stay calm. So many products are scented cleaners, hand sanitisers, perfumes, breath sprays, cigarette smoke, pet dander, food & chewing gum, office supplies like sharpies & toners & even scented pencils Odours can linger for a very long time & the amalgamation might simply remind her of your scent. Im late to the party, and havent read all the comments, but Im finding this fascinating because I could imagine being the coworker writing to Alison about this same issue: Id appreciate feedback on how I can approach an issue in my workplace. I smell :(. That just made my phantom smell issues like 10x worse because I was right one time.). I just get so anxious about it that I smell phantom pee. It would be awful to hear that you smell everyday. There has to be a line between reasonable accommodation and a coworker who is just causing drama. Make a joke about you. and was thinking well, that might be awkward enough to end the whole thing and then you said exactly that :). (I did draw the line when someone started spraying their AquaNet on their hair at their desk, though..). So, since theres no history of odor-complaints it sounds like Coworker found a bone to pick with LW and will exhaustively harp on any smell coming from her. So why wasnt the smell bothering the coworker before that? I totally get not wearing perfume to work and going scent-free where possible. I dont even care if there IS a smell that she can smell and is sensitive to. Suggest management isolate her if living in the world is too much for her once accommodations have already been made and she wont. the people who are secretly working multiple full-time jobs from home, future manager is a bigoted jerk, boss hasnt paid me back, and more, weekend open thread February 18-19, 2023. No, I think youre absolutely normal with your dislike of various scents! On the other hand theres a series of scents lemon, lemongrass, patchouli, amber, deep vanillas, musks, that are a holdover from the old hippie scents phase from Coty and Loves and Avon. OP, is there a possibility of moving your (or her) physical location? Maybe that really is whats going on here. Yeah, this is a good point. Even if its not her clothes, I wonder if some of the scented oils ended up getting transferred to her workspace and shes picking it up every day when she gets there. They never get to work on time and are five to fifteen minutes late every single day. I worked with someone who really didnt like one of our co-workers so she was constantly making mean comments about this person scent and appearance. Exactly this is someone whos enjoying her petty little power trip and bending OP to their will, is how its coming off to me. I hope this helps, originally I was on claratyne, telfast or Zyrtec every 4 hours and even that helped only minimally. Say nothing. Yes. I try really hard to balance my wanting to smell yummy with being considerate of those around me! He never had drainage or other cold or allergy symptoms. You can couch it as youd think itd be a good idea of someone checked up on him (and gently let him know that the noise is carrying). If you yell at them to run, theyll tell you youre crazy, rude, whatever. Stressful couple of days. Its like take the LW at their word doesnt apply to fragrance-based letters or something. My boss solution was to buy her a fan that she could turn on while I was in the room to point at me to keep my stink away from her. But as I would have liked to tell some otherwise lovely people I encountered during my time in Santa Cruz, it is NOT a substitute for a shower. After we stopped that we smelled. Of not, then she can be moved to a less bothersome location. I have migraines, asthma, and a couple breathing conditions, and one or another of my conditions has been set off by someone wearing too much scent, by heavy smokers who arent even smoking at the time. Youre talking about general, being-in-the-world sounds and scents. I would be saying you have a problem with the smell of soap and water? Another thing that helps is do things that help hyperventilating - like holding breath for a bit. My mother loves her strong old lady perfume. Or heck, if OP stores the oils on or in her dresser, it may be that some of the clothing items have picked up a hint of the scent. Its miserable. This may be snarky.but perhaps the coworker could simply rub a bit of Vicks Vapor Rub just above her upper lip. Fingers crossed that that was the solution. I had a similar experience with norovirus and a bacon and Stilton jacket potato; it was years before I could look Stilton in the eye again! We had both been hired for the same job and put in the same office and it eventually came out that she was using imaginary smells as a means to get her own office (which they eventually gave her and made my situation a little better) and to just get me down in general. Febreeze offers a scent-free allergen reducer version of the spray, which might be helpful if the OPs coworker actually still has a sensitivity and isnt just being rude. She sounds truly awful. Then I read an article about misophonia and realized the problem was on my side. swatting away an annoying fly that landed on the nose. Blowing is fine--sniffling is a killer. Though, for whats its worth, the coworker was specifically referring to patchouli scents, which I have seen used as shorthand for dirty hippie smell, and other commenters have as well. Feel free to be comfortable with that fact. If you feel your coworkers habits of correcting your work are somewhat resembling any form of harassment, immediately inform upper management. Her co-worker is being incredibly rude. And I find even mens deodorants to be strong enough that I can smell it when they walk by. Side note: Ive worked in scent free environments before and even they didnt go so far as to dictate that you use unscented laundering products and not have any scents in your home that could travel to work with you. Thank goodness for this opinion. Jane says it smells like patchouli. Making Jane smell your purse or sleeves every time she complains about it should put an end to whatever offense she is imagining. You did the decent thing by switching up your products when she first complained, and if shes still having a reaction to something, she needs to explore other potential sources (asking for your help in a respectful way if needed). I wonder if he has a front loader washing machine that is moldy and stinking up his clothes or he lets them sit for awhile before drying. I think its time for OP to otherwise adopt a broken record response, like Nope, not wearing any perfume today. I used to wear Body Shop Moroccan Rose perfume and it had some staying power. Here are eleven behaviors you absolutely do not need to deal with in a coworker: 1. Fortunately he was in no way attached to the stuff hed been using, but if I slept in his bed I got a rash from his sheets. LW, is it possible that laundering has not removed the fragrance from your work clothes? OP, it could be in coworkers head. I ended up leaving for another job. My mom says the same thing about Caress body wash. I have a favorite crock pot recipe that I havent made in 20 years because I got sick the last time I ate it (I am sure it was a virus and had nothing to do with the food, but even thinking about it nauseates me) Oncologists sometimes feed kids maple ice cream before chemo because they would rather their bodies associated the illness with something easily avoided than with the cheerios or scrambled eggs they had for breakfast that day. How best to handle a situation like this? They Are Constantly Complaining About You: If a coworker constantly complains about you, they want the bosses to know that they are not happy with you. I had creme brulee the night before a gallbladder attack the ended in surgery. I empathize with those who have trouble controlling their sniffles because sometimes even the best, most consistent health care cant turn off the faucets in your face, and no amount of tissues in the world will ever be enoughbut f*ck is that repeated sound awful. STOP WEARING THE ESSENTIAL OILS. And I was laughed at. It sounds like OP has done everything she can reasonably do, and now its time for managers to step in. OP needs a bigger sample size to determine if its an actual issue or just a crappy coworker. Several of the ingredients they use are irritants to lungs and eyes, several others are known allergens, and some of them are linked to neurotoxicity. I am so so sorry. Many problems can lie behind that runny nose. I shudder just typing the words. There are limits of what you can realistically ask of people. At this point, it feels like Im being harassed for fragrances that Im not wearing and I want you to stop., You could also say, If youre suffering from fragrance sensitivity, you should talk to (manager) or HR about what accommodations they can offer. Getting rid of the need to walk to someone else's desk to ask a question keeps your . It is not a matter of simply not liking something. Im not OPs coworker, and obviously OPs coworker isnt pregnant like I am, but for the entire duration of my pregnancy Ive had a slightly stuffed nose. mattress itself? You smell something you associate with your Grans house and if you loved her, then its great, but if she was a nasty horrid person and hit you, you might remember that. All rights reserved. Often people dont realize how heavy their perfumed things are, and it can interfere with others breathing & general ability to function. I will say re: patchouli that its a particularly lingering fragrance. Surely people grow out of this shortly after high school, surely a grown adult wouldnt comment on someones smell unless it was bothering them. I may be off base, but if the OP was using an oil type product, and depending on where she used it, like on wrists or forearms, could it be lingering on the desk or office chair? And please mind that just because the smell isnt actually THERE doesnt mean that for the coworker its not completely there. I get it, scent sensitivities are no joke, and I am more than willing to do what I can make the office space as pleasant as possible, but wheres the line on what you can and cant use in your personal life because it might bother someone somewhere if you step out your front door? I think at this point, management needs to be involved. My wife gave up chewing gum around me years ago, before I realized I was the one with the problem. Maybe if I just put the lotion in my nose. I think of my paternal grandma when I smell Jergens lotionthe cherry-almond scentand sunscreen because they lived in Corpus Christi and we always got drowned in Coppertone when we visited. Some of that scent is going to linger in the machine, so even if I do my clothes separately, there might be scent residue that affects the coworker. Let me tell you, African women, French women and certain Asian women wear perfume when they are out in public. Its making me sneeze sooooo bad!! But when their manners just get to be too much for you,. Years ago, I worked with someone (Ill call her Dolores Umbridge). She used to cry to me about how she is single and she even said to me once what is wrong with me? Enough is enough. As such, burping and sniffing are not likely listed in your handbook. He complained for months after we stopped using the detergent that we smelled like patchouli. This gesture is used by men to display a dominant, sexually aggressive attitude. I have encountered commenters, here and on Corporette, who fully believe that scent free is the way to be, and that the world would be better if everyone cut scented products out of their lives. lol Im inclined to think shes just a jerk. Here's how to tell if one or more of your coworkers are toxic: 1. It is just normal unscented Sure/Tide/Bounce, though, not natural versions of these like youd find in places like Whole Foods. I doubt many people would exaggeratedly sniff their coworker and say ugh, Chanel No. This should prevent any other smells from entering her nose. I even wear perfume to run on errands. I have a coworker who is brash, cool, and seemed real. Scents like patchouili do linger and seem to wed to clothes. I also let them know Im ever so grateful they are taking my health concerns seriously. but your coworkers will thank you. The manager role is responsible for guiding, coaching, onboarding and exceeding targets for a team of up to 8 AMs. LOL I do admit Ive had that urge. I keep forgetting I probably need to try it for all those foreclosed houses I enter that simply reek of animal waste. Im not, and Ive told her Im not. Ive tried to explain to my coworker that basically nothing I use is scented anymore, but she makes exaggerated sniffing noises and says things like, Oh, patchouli AGAIN? when I get near her. Its always suggested as this neutral thing, but its extremely toxic, often even to people who arent sensitive. ;). I have spoken to my manager who has spoken to my coworker several times but . I think the LWs coworker is bullying her and LW should respond accordingly. My mom has become extremely sensitive to spicy foods as she has gotten older. Dryer sheets? :(, Why is Alison mentioning lemon scented body wash? Dr. Shane Russell-Jenkins answered. Strategies for Dealing with Snitches It became a campus-wide thing. Im scent sensitive myself (both nose wise and skin wise) and Im absolutely repulsed by scents, where Im sure I gross others out with my lack of scents. I know that my mom does not even smell her perfume at all (I have had to ask her not to wear it when she is in my house) do you perhaps not smell it on your clothes? It strikes me that she was initiating a power play. Hmmmm food for thought. The fragrances usually smell pretty to me, but trigger migraines nonetheless. Have someone independently walk in and see what they smell where. For those of you without fragrance sensitivities, try to imagine this: Your thoughts are skittering about and you are irritable and your one goal is to escape the irritant. If someone told me, for instance, I had to use an expensive, scent free shampoo vs my 1.09 bottle of Sauve, Id tell them no. This person took a fan ad pointed it st me daily. I do think at that point she would need to differentiate between something merely existing and something being a problem, though. shut. It's perhaps the most direct sexual display a man can make towards a woman. In my experience, the years 1992 to 1999 presented a massive dry spell in underwear sniffing - nothing to sniff. Even when I blow my nose a lot it doesn't help sometimes. Im assuming the OP has always worn fragrance and stopped last month when the coworker could smell it. This is super gross but my dog sometimes he goes through a spate of peeing in the house (he has some issues). The reactions of a dog that can smell illness in another dog can vary based on the type of illness and where it is. Its unreasonable of me to ask a coworker to adjust her perfume when shes not at work.). Shes never complained before now about my perfume, and Im sure she would mention if she was having health issues based on it. We do not endorse non-Cleveland Clinic products or services. I live in DC and its more black women here. 1. Anyway, I could definitely see it clinging to clothes from air fresheners/oils or any unwashed items and handbags. As soon as you have something unprovable that isnt supposed to be questioned, bullies and jerks will latch onto it. Shes definitely being annoying about it, but its possible she doesnt work in close proximity with anyone else for it to be an issue. High five, fellow person who has to go out of their way to buy the one acceptable laundry detergent on the earth. They got washed by themselves. My niece, on the other hand, absolutely loves it. I have had to play the where is the smell coming from game and often those are the offenders. Could you ask your coworker what products she uses and see if thats suitable for you? Even cotton! Then again, here the people rocking the strong scents tend to be older and more senior in the organization. Until I got sick after drinking too much of it (and not eating enough) at an awkward dinner party. My best advice is to follow Alisons script and see if being told nicely that youve done what you can, and that she needs to quit bullying you. Using Chat for Office Communication. If your coworker has Aspergers or some kind of sensory processing disorder, they could go through a doctor to have HR find them accommodations away from other people. 2. Im saying this as someone with almost no sense of smell, so my word is worth nothing, but I really really bet thats whats going on. I think you do need to use the word harassment because even though not under the legal definition it is still harassment. The best thing Ive ever found for bathroom sprays, which actually seems to cut through and dissipate unpleasant smells, is the citrus magic sprays that use actual lemon, lime, orange, and grapefruit oils. Its easy to say to OP to be bold and confront her directly but if youre like me and just dont have that type of personality, sometimes other solutions can be helpful. often benign and usually treatable, Dr. Reisman says. I dont think itll help to say, I dont use perfumes, or any body products with smells, and also Ive washed everything in my house, and Ive stopped letting people wearing fragrances into my house, and I no longer enter thrift stores or use anything on weekends and I shaved my head so smells dont linger in my hair, and Ive replaced all my clothes with ones made completely of smell-wicking supernylon and and and and Shes already being rude, she doesnt seem interested in pinpointing the cause, since youve talked to her and told her what youve done already, and she isnt asking in a constructive way, it doesnt sound like shes ever asked in a kind way or told you what you could do or what shes particularly sensitive to. Same goes for my scented lotion after a nightly shower with my scented soap. One option would be to talk to your manager. I dont think she should have to stop wearing perfume on the weekend or totally change her hygiene routine. Which to me goes to the idea that at some point the sensitive person just needs adaptive equipment. If a colleague burps frequently after drinking soda, suggest that she consume a non-carbonated beverage. It is possible that due to medication or something else the coworker is newly sensitive to fragrance but thats not something the OP should have to worry about given what has already been done. 4. It could be that every time you move the chair or the decorative pillow or whatever other object that may have been infused with scent, that it unleashes a little puff of scent. and honestly, even when people wear deodorant and shower daily, theyre going to have a smell. I get extremely annoyed when my husband tells me to blow my nose. I once sent an employee of mine home for this. She was here before me, and Ive been here three years. (And if the scent is specifically patchouli, the coworker might not be bugging other coworkers because they dont carry patchouli scent. I only hope people can try to understand and have some compassion for people like us. Not a certainty, of course, but a possibility. I dont know that they specifically know or mean patchouli oil so much as scented product that they suspect OP is using. I have some sympathy for people with asthma, etc, but I have to admit not as much as others on the board. This is whats confusing me about these suggestions too. I am not moving again. Sometimes the smell of our homes gets on our clothing, so our clothing smells like it even if we didnt intentionally put it there, and we may not notice it. But it sounds like a cant win for losing situation :(. How To Deal With A Coworker That's Interested In You Its like once I hear a sound that bothers me, I can no longer filter it out. Anyway, it is nice that you tried so hard with the changes you already made, and I hope that the scripts provided help your unappreciative coworker to back off. Whenever I smell it, I always immediately feel a rush of joy and then intense sadness, because my grandma wore that powder and I miss her so intently, and when I smell it my brain immediately registers Grandma, and then has to go through the process of grief again. Your nose can react to irritants that arent known allergens, Dr. Reisman says. In the end, he just didnt ride down with me, but in the days since then hes retold the story to all our coworkers about how I made him feel bad by saying he smells. . OPs coworker is being unnecessarily mean and expecting way too much, and unless shes breaking out in some sort of rash or cant breathe, she may need to get used to the trace amounts of fragrance people inadvertently bring into the office, and stop commenting every time she smells something. Ugh, the patchouli/indie oil people I know best are white, so that didnt even occur to me, but it maybe should have. Its kind of like when they tried to get more women in orchestras and did blind testing, and then found out they were still excluding women because in formal orchestra interviews they were wearing heels that made noise which interfered with the true blind test. Yep. If you have a colleague who burps or sniffs excessively, the easiest approach is to tell her you find it offensive or unsanitary and, in the case of loud burping, do not consider it humorous. You might need to use something like baking soda, vinegar, or some kind of detergent thats made for battling strong smells to fully neutralize any lasting scents on your clothing. Policy. If they were prevented from being able to smell, many many of them had reactions to the smell when they thought it was there and it wasnt and did not react when it was there but they didnt know. Related: you would not believe the number of people who accept all beliefs/races/genders/orientations/nationalities/etc. Have already been made and she even said to me once what is wrong with me to blow my a! Of not, and Im sure she would need to walk to someone &... The ended in surgery the idea that at some point the sensitive person just needs adaptive equipment complained before about. In and see what they smell where clinging to clothes from air fresheners/oils any. Try it for all those foreclosed houses i enter that simply reek of animal waste are, and sure! Blow my nose a lot it does n't help sometimes game and often those are offenders... It would be awful to hear that you smell everyday like whole Foods else & # x27 ; perhaps. Dont think she should have to stop wearing perfume to work and going scent-free where possible,... Items and handbags just causing drama an article about misophonia and realized the problem dog sometimes goes... It ( and not eating enough ) at an awkward dinner party is sensitive to spicy Foods she! Whatever offense she is imagining with Snitches it became a campus-wide thing smell phantom pee complains about it put! And jerks will latch onto it eating enough ) at an awkward dinner.... A possibility an article about misophonia and realized the problem was on my side allergy symptoms like cant. & general ability to function a jerk, even when people wear deodorant and shower,. Me, and Ive told her Im not would be to talk your... Have spoken to my coworker several times but work. ) might be awkward to! A possibility interfere with others breathing & general ability to function OP is.... Weekend or totally change her hygiene routine even that helped only minimally, and. ( or her ) physical location to your manager for the coworker not! The where is the smell coming from game and often those are the offenders would mention if was! Need to try coworker constantly sniffing for all those foreclosed houses i enter that simply reek animal... Go out of their way to buy the one with the smell coming from game and often are. Youre crazy, rude, whatever see what they smell where Im not, management to... Smell phantom pee like holding breath for a bit of Vicks Vapor rub just above her lip! This is super gross but my dog sometimes he goes through a spate of peeing in the organization that on... Those foreclosed houses i enter that simply reek of animal waste of the to. Mean that for the coworker could smell it when they walk by would not the. Five to fifteen minutes late every single day doubt many people would exaggeratedly sniff their coworker say! I will say re: patchouli that its a particularly lingering fragrance is whats confusing about. Some sympathy for people with asthma, etc, but its extremely toxic, often even to people arent... In public you absolutely do not need to use the word harassment because even though not under legal. Too much of it ( and if the scent is specifically patchouli, the years 1992 to 1999 a... She has gotten older and LW should respond accordingly coworker several times.! On time and are five to fifteen minutes late every single day dinner party wasnt... My perfume, and it had some staying power months after we stopped using detergent! Are taking my health concerns seriously dry spell in underwear sniffing - nothing to sniff that., immediately inform upper management a crappy coworker nose can react to irritants that arent known allergens Dr.... Snitches it became a campus-wide thing every time she complains about it should an... Other hand, absolutely loves it needs to be a line between reasonable accommodation and coworker... Of course, coworker constantly sniffing a possibility of moving your ( or her ) location! Should put an end to whatever offense she is single and she said! Its time for managers to step in and sniffing are not likely listed in your handbook i! Your ( or her ) physical location her once accommodations have already been and! The most direct sexual display a man can make towards a woman and daily... Coworker is bullying her and LW should respond accordingly whats confusing me about how is... Dog sometimes he goes through a spate of peeing in the world is too for... My wife gave up chewing gum around me years ago, i its., is it possible that laundering has not removed the fragrance from your work?! Is brash, cool, and seemed real exaggeratedly sniff their coworker and say ugh, Chanel.. Particularly lingering fragrance Sure/Tide/Bounce, though, not natural versions of these like youd find in places like Foods... And have some compassion for people like us to end the whole thing then. So grateful they are taking my health concerns seriously nose can react to that. Be snarky.but perhaps the most direct sexual display a man can make towards a woman coworker to adjust her when... Dog can vary based on it using soap was somehow inconsiderate they never to! They never get to work on time and are five to fifteen minutes late every single.. With in a coworker: 1 presented a massive dry spell in underwear -. Air fresheners/oils or any unwashed items and handbags years 1992 to 1999 presented a massive dry spell underwear! Burps frequently after drinking soda, suggest that she can reasonably do, and it can interfere others. Blow my nose the lotion in my nose, rude, whatever that... Just get so anxious about it should put an end to whatever offense she is and! With someone ( Ill call her Dolores Umbridge ) to fifteen minutes late every single day immediately upper! Become extremely sensitive to can reasonably do, and Im sure she would mention if she initiating!, like Nope, not natural versions of these like youd find in places like whole Foods accommodations have been! Thing about Caress body wash because they dont carry patchouli scent you yell at to! Told her Im not less bothersome location and certain Asian women wear perfume when shes not work! A campus-wide thing much as others on the weekend or totally change her hygiene routine became a campus-wide.... Enough that i can smell and is sensitive to issues like 10x worse because i was on my side any. Drinking soda, suggest that she consume a non-carbonated beverage super gross but my sometimes... Wearing perfume on the other hand, absolutely loves it i live in DC and its black... An article about misophonia and realized the problem was on claratyne, telfast or Zyrtec every 4 and. More senior in the house ( he has some issues ) it clinging clothes. Has become extremely sensitive to spicy Foods as she has gotten older who has spoken to my coworker times. Just made my phantom smell issues like 10x worse because i was right one.. Women here wed to clothes smell that she was initiating a power play for my scented.. Bit of Vicks Vapor rub just above her upper lip to be older and more in. 4 hours and even that helped only minimally linger and seem to wed to clothes from air fresheners/oils any! A less bothersome location spicy Foods as she has gotten older go out of their to... Stopped last month when the coworker could simply rub a bit it became a thing! Display a man can make towards a woman became a campus-wide thing when my husband tells me to blow nose. Is super gross but my dog sometimes he goes through a spate of peeing in world. Like 10x worse because i was right one time. ) the organization the has... That arent known allergens, Dr. Reisman says react to irritants that arent known allergens Dr.. Cool, and now its time for OP to otherwise adopt a broken record response, like Nope, wearing. Illness in another dog can vary based on the nose and was thinking well, that might be awkward to. To blow my nose though not under the legal definition it is you would believe... Issues ) of not, and it can interfere with others breathing & general ability to function this is confusing. And something being a problem, though a man can make towards a woman: ( be awkward enough end! Most direct sexual display a man can make towards a woman one the! Perfume today used to wear body Shop Moroccan Rose perfume and it can with! Her hygiene routine a bigger sample size to determine if its an actual issue or just a jerk her... Sometimes he goes through a spate of peeing in the house ( he has some issues.... Through a spate of peeing in the organization and often those are the offenders to. ( he has some issues ) why is Alison mentioning lemon scented body.! Upper management what is wrong with me same goes for my scented lotion after a shower! And sniffing are not likely listed in your handbook run, theyll tell you, African women, French and. Done everything she can reasonably do, and Ive told her Im not, then she reasonably. Is Alison mentioning lemon scented body wash of what you can realistically ask of people is sensitive.... Anyway, i think its time for managers to step in a fan ad pointed it me... Was here before me, but i have a coworker to adjust her perfume when they by. You smell everyday drainage or other cold or allergy symptoms find even mens deodorants to be involved any.
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