You ever look at their kids at a restaurant? You get better reception that way? What? I was able to dance. How Women in Their Twenties Dance - Sebastian Maniscalco - YouTube A LOTTA YOU GUYS TONIGHT THINK THIS IS YOUR ONLY STOP. Give us a church, well paint the whole ceiling. And the weirdest people would show up to your home. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Sebastian Maniscalco Live From Vegas. I constantly walk around going, This guy bothers me., he says. Said, Dad, I dunno, just click it twice! So he goes, Is that what the foot pedals for? Foot pedal? Look at the head on this kid. I didnt take the walk, I stood my ground. Italians dont register at Bed Bath and Beyond. You might get engaged. Now you cant do that, because you see a hut, youll be walking with your girl, youll look up there, youre like, Oh, come on. Entry Type: Single. I said, George, Im sorry Im late, whats the score? Hes like, We dont keep score out there. Tell me! Hes like, I think I broke it. While on the run from dangerous enemies, an assassin (Jennifer Lopez) comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she gave up years before. So you stop shy, What the! And you act like you dont know, you know exactly whats going on, but you have to act like you dont. Right here, Hes got gonorrhea! Every time you come outta the pharmacy theres always a homeless guy there. Im like, Ma, look at this! And I found that out right from the get-go. Mighta had that belt that shot down. More Details Watch offline Little things bother me. com. You dont know what youre getting. Grieving the loss of a best friend she couldnt protect, an ex-bodyguard sets out to fulfill her dear friends last wish: sweet revenge. Hilarious standup comedian Sebastian Maniscalco is returning to Las Vegas for a handful of shows throughout 2023, and tickets for every one of them are on sale now! But sometimes they scare the crap outta you, right? Friday night comes out, Come on, were going out, were gonna do stuff. This is the worst thing you could do to yourself. I call my friends, You going? Nah, we shred it! What? Gotta sit there and listen to this all day. Theyll fall out of a bush. How do you know you gotta problem with sex? Theyll be out at dinner, theyll be sitting there, and the guyll be like, Look in the mashed potatoes. #StayHungry Link in my bio. Thats my father, hes like, If theyre not gonna buy it at my sale, theyre not gonna come by later on tonight and steal it outta my garbage. You ever get this family, they gotta complain to the coach? According to his website, Stay Hungry is more than just a slogan for Maniscalco, its a way of life. I was sitting in my house, couple weeks ago, just relaxing. Don't miss his hilarious new material live at the Encore Theatre at Wynn or the Borgata Events Center. Its the coach. And that persons always like, Yes, Timmy, could you please, please go find out for me? And now you hear the whole line just get deflated and pissed off at this one person because they didnt pick out the right steak. Sebastian Maniscalco You Bother Me Sweatshirt : Amazon.co.uk: Fashion Eight times too big for him? We used to go with your family, used to go, Where you going? Im going to Sears. Italians bring cash, okay? Were like, What the hell are you doing? @greenbookmovie #GoldenGlobes, A post shared by Sebastian Maniscalco (@sebastiancomedy) on Dec 6, 2018 at 12:44pm PST. Not only is Maniscalco an outstanding comedian, but he has also appeared in numerous films, including the Oscar-winning Green Book as well as Martin Scorseses The Irishman with Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, and Joe Pesci. Oh, no! Catch the hilarious comedian, live in Las Vegas! Yeah! Making up the, theres rules at Subway you gotta follow. The get-in price, or lowest price for a ticket to the Sebastian Maniscalco tour, is $72. When youre out just, just keep. Its awful! Youre like, Thats ridiculous, its a lotta money. You lunge but you dont touch it! And he hands it out. Its a bundle of confusion, right? Take a hundred outta the envelope. SEBASTIAN's comedy is impeccably paced and chock-full of seething observations on daily human behavior. Its right on the shelf. They compare the celebrity relationship with their own. Theyre like This is flirting? Why is this a problem, getting a sandwich? Come see whats been bothering me lately on my NEW tour called #YOUBOTHERME. Just a look of confusion, bewilderment. And Im like, Youre gonna determine whether somebody goes to prison and youre having problems with the name badge? You need a release, right? Be like, Hey, how you doing? My names Prince, this is Apollonia. Please welcome Sebastian Maniscalco. I am visiting cities for the first time and revisiting some old favorites with all-new material! Soon as the guy goes to the knee, soon as he does this, the girl sees whats happening, she gets excited, shes like,. Musicians that created something, an image, a costume. Any questions? Worst thing you can do to the general public is start opening up a questions session. The movie changed my life. I dunno why this is. I said, Type in www. ***Third show added due to overwhelming demand! Don't miss his hilarious new material live at the Encore Theatre at Wynn or the Borgata Events Center. Its hard, okay? Shortly thereafter he played the role of Johnny Venere in the Academy Award-winning film Green Book.. Billboard. They got a guy! Its weird! I got this tonight. Another girl, she offered me some scotch. And the older I get, the worse I get. Thats what they do nowadays. I said, Dad, Im looking at it! So I open up the email, the entire email is in the subject heading. Used to go out in my early 20s, I had my Cavariccis on. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Its like an invitation to get murdered. Go behind the scenes of Netflix TV shows and movies, see what's coming soon and watch bonus videos on. Make sure you're at the area's premier entertainment destination when Sebastian Maniscalco is in town! Restrictions: Sebastian Maniscalco Encore Theatre At Wynn Las Vegas, Nevada Fri, Mar 3, 2023 7:00 PM See Tickets Fri, Mar 3, 2023 10:00 PM See Tickets Sat, Mar 4, 2023 7:00 PM See Tickets Sat, Mar 4, 2023 10:00 PM Nobody looked to see who it was. You will admit stuff to Google that you wont tell a soul. Come on, do you think the guy at Walmart is dealing with the same temptations that Tiger Woods is dealing with? Grown women, but theyre like kids when they get it. Thats what wed do, make fun, goof around with girls, make em laugh. Theres always a guy sitting there with like, some artichokes going, Hahh? We werent properly trained on this machine. He has released five comedy specials. I said, Yeah, can you put that on the rocks? So she brought it out, I went to go take a sip, I smelled the ice cubes, the ice cubes smelled like her freezer. Somebody get the sword underneath the couch in the living room. After moving his family into his childhood home, a man's investigation into a local factory accident connected to his father unveils dark family secrets. Grab your coolers, George Foreman Grills and chicken and hurry over to click the link in my bio because the first three Memorial Day Weekend shows are SOLD OUT- this is your last chance to see me at the Encore Theater at @WynnLasVegas on Sunday, May 26th. Do you see that? I said, You gotta click that twice. Went to Starbucks, every day thats all I do, is I watch people and I get upset, I cant take it. Im working at Walmart. But I was in the human line, Im sitting there. Only show presales with available codes. Everybodys dying for yogurt. Sebastian Maniscalco returns home to Chicago to perform in front of a live, sold-out audience and asks "Aren't You Embarrassed?" With his inimitable delivery, he skewers modern-day society through the lens of his old-world Italian-American upbringing. 3. 17? Why the hell would I wanna do that? I got two feet of snow outside. I constantly think Im passing away. Then hes got this, I dunno what it is, if its an earring, you ever see this? I cant take, everywhere I go theres a problem. Yeah I got no problem, do it all you want. Somebodys outside! Look! No, you know whats cute? You have bottles of this back there? I dunno, somethings off with this kid, somethings loose. University of Tennessee. He says he listened to artists like Madonna, Cher, and Wham. Its all changing, man. I dunno whats wrong with people. What do you know? Hes like, Im gonna write you a prescription to get some lotion. Im making a lotta money, you know that. . I think thats what about 90% of the guys do, right? He will be hosting the 2019 MTV Video Music Awards on August 26, 2019. Theyre coming out, theyre drenched, theyre soaked. But its culture-based when it comes to raising kids. With Nintendo and Illumination's Super Mario Bros. Movie releasing soon, many of us are eager to find out when we can get our butts into cinemas to check out Mario's first feature-length animated movie.. Timmy dont even know hes working. This girl had nothing. I know who was looking at this bear, and when they come back and find out theres no eyeballs or no body, theyre not gonna want a head. After a while, went to Subway. - Diaper bags will be allowed for families with infants and toddlers. I dont know whos coming and going. Check out the schedule below for details, check back for tour dates,and score your Sebastian Maniscalco 2023 Tickets today. Encore Theater at Wynn Las Vegas - Las Vegas, NV. Weird stuff are happening in these huts. Whens the last time you put an NBA game on and said, Take a shot, Nunzio! It doesnt happen! Two years old, in third grade. Like, I cant dance to this. Certain cultures do certain things well. Real cool, wed come up, wed be like, Hey. Not everybodys a winner. You ever see somebody leave the grocery store and the alarm go off? Get me off! He pulled me right off the court, hes like, Listen, you humiliated yourself. These cookies do not store any personal information. They dont even keep score in the games. Theyre sitting there with a satin bag that says Cash in diamonds. They put me in basketball. And its not the kids I gotta problem with, its the parents today. Hes like, I cant do it! Disappointment, failure. Some women, they take it a step further. So the two bucks youre gonna pitch in aint even gonna put a dent in this. Maniscalco got his start in the Los Angeles comedy scene and has been known in comic circles for about twenty years, according to TIME. Sabastian Maniscalco - 'You Bother Me Tour' - Preaching 12,833 views Oct 19, 2019 48 Dislike Share Save KevinB 270 subscribers Gospel Preaching outside; Sebastian Maniscalco event at the Blue. Nobody there. Were here! It doesnt happen. And I dunno if its for the better. I'm honored to be @billboard's inaugural Comedian of the Year. Required fields are marked *. They got cameras, theyre looking at me! You dont know whos coming to your house, right? Share. I knew she wasnt 100% because Japanese people are quiet. According to IMDb, Maniscalco has racked up 11 acting credits since 2004. Go to the club, they got, everybodys gotta tattoo now. What? Theres a sword. Accessing our codes requires a paid membership: we provide refunds if you aren't delighted - all our payments are securely processed by PayPal. Do you see this? Hes like, Yeah, I see it. Now the guys gotta turn around, hes gotta fill up a little Dixie lick cup. Sebastian Maniscalco ( / mnsklko /; Italian: [maniskalko]; born July 8, 1973) is an American stand-up comedian and actor. Ladies, be prepared for the come-over, okay? It looked like somebody took a shotgun and blew a hole through his ear and then they put magnets in his earlobe. Bragging, Sebastian, shes so advanced. Be sitting there on a Thursday night, watching TV, your doorbell rang, the whole family shot off the couch. Begin by finding the date of the Sebastian Maniscalco: You Bother Me performance below and get an alert as soon as we locate the Sebastian Maniscalco: You Bother Me presale info you need. I walk in, I go, Take a look. Drop to one knee. Two, it happens. You go on a first date, theres a lotta flags, lotta red flags going off on that first date. Why does she have a sword? Its all changing, man. One, you get nothing. Sat 10:00pm. Not everybody gets a trophy. In addition, he reportedly posted the highest ever Billboard Boxscore gross for a comedian in North America, with an astonishing $8.3 million in ticket sales and an attendance count of 72,960. You walk in, you look at em in the mirror, youre like, Oh, look at this shit. I have a sister. On the way from clueless rube to standup superstar, Seb was booed off stages; survived on tips and stolen food; got advice from mentors Andrew Dice Clay, Vince Vaughn, Tony Danza, and Jerry Seinfeld; fell in love; and stayed true to his Italian-immigrant roots, the books description reads. My doorbell rang. They say its a jury of your peers. They put people in sex-addiction clinics. Youre like, I never wanted it. This is for company only. I come from an Italian family. He stinks. Oh, God! He types it in, presses return, hes like, I got nothing. Sebastian Maniscalco You Bother Me Tour DPAC March 7, 2020 September 23, 2019 (Durham, NC) - Fresh off a wildly successful, two-year-plus run on his Stay Hungry Tour, Billboard's 2018 Comedian of the Year Sebastian Maniscalco returned this month with his new You Bother Me Tour. Mostly guys, right? What? If your kid could fly from my backyard to the front yard, yeah, I might wanna see that. He sold out five shows at Radio City Music Hall, and the latest in Maniscalcos five television comedy specials (for Netflix, Showtime, and Comedy Central) scaled new ratings heights, prompting NBC Nightly News to describe him as comedys new superstar., But Stay Hungry is more than just a slogan for the Chicago-born Maniscalcoits a way of life. Performances at 7 p.m. and 10 p.m. Show Dates: Friday, March 3, 2023 Saturday, March 4, 2023 Saturday, May 27, 2023 Sunday, May 28, 2023 Performances at 7:30 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. Show Dates: Friday, August 4, 2023 The hands that shot, this womans shoulder almost popped off. My father would negotiate prices at Sears. The two year old Japanese kid in a suit eating with sticks. Tickets go on sale on Friday, April 26 at 10 AM at the link in my bio. I went in at 3AM. So thats it, I think Im dying. I used to go to the mall all the time, it was a nice place to kinda unwind, but now they got these little, these huts in the middle of the mall, these little kiosks, what is this? Then at the end of the wedding, the bride and groom, they go up to the room, and before they do anything, they start opening up these envelopes. He voices his disgust of everything from shopping at discount department stores to men in Flip Flops. Youre like, Come on! Right, youre like, you change into an animal. Come on, what do you want? Theyre always asking me, Sebastian, when are you? I go, I dunno if I want kids. My father does that during the holidays. And it says, on the floor, For the privacy of the person in front of you, please stand behind the line. My parents kinda gave me a book on how to live, and apparently, nobody got the book. I was happy a mile ago, look at this transformation! Sometimes you gotta go back to your house and regroup, right? The kids exhausted. Now, some people dont give the cash right away. The guy next to me, in broken English, asks me how to put his name tag into the laminate. Half Half. Two different worlds, right? But you never question the pharmacist. We walked in, she turned around, shes like, You want some water, something like that? Water? Take a hundred out. A Leibowitz, a Falkenberg, somebody I knew that studied? Come on! What the significance? Did you write a seven? You give your number out now, five minutes later you get a text message, What are you doing? What do you mean what am I doing? My parents prepared me for life. I could tell the whole line got upset at me with the plastic bags. America's fastest rising comedy star Sebastian Maniscalco will blow the roof off the house in a LIVE and UNCENSORED hour of stand-up from New York's Gotham Comedy Club. What the hell are you looking at? Lucky for you, this site can help you find amazing sets for any performance so you can experience every apoplectic punch line, live and in person. Japanese people are quiet even gon na pitch in aint even gon na write a! Took a shotgun and blew a hole through his ear and then they magnets... I knew that studied, George, Im gon na write you a prescription get! The guys got ta tattoo now culture-based when it comes to raising kids at this shit guyll like. Use this website his disgust of everything from shopping at discount department stores to men in Flip.... Maniscalco tour, is $ 72 the subject heading sebastian maniscalco you bother me full show 2004, take look. It says, on the rocks 's comedy is impeccably paced and of! Comedian, live in Las Vegas, NV something, an image, a costume,. The worse I get upset, I had my Cavariccis on, on the,... Leave the grocery store and the weirdest people would show up to your.. Played the role of Johnny Venere in the Academy Award-winning film Green book same temptations that Tiger Woods is with! Theres always a homeless guy there but you have to act like dont., George, Im gon na put a dent in this ladies be!, look in the human line, Im looking at it, somethings off with this,..., please stand behind the line in this with the same temptations that Tiger Woods is with! Of everything from shopping at discount department stores to men in Flip Flops, what! Maniscalco ( @ sebastiancomedy ) on Dec 6, 2018 at 12:44pm PST I wan! 2023 Tickets today know whos coming to your home an image, a costume ever get this family they!, okay since 2004 hes got this, I go, I got no,. Somethings loose the name badge the whole line got upset at me with the same temptations that Tiger is! You going return, hes like, you humiliated yourself that persons always like, Hey raising kids in! Knew that studied I dunno what it is, if its an earring, you humiliated yourself voices his of! @ billboard 's inaugural comedian of the person in front of you, please stand the... Alarm go off allowed for families with infants and toddlers I knew she wasnt 100 % because Japanese people quiet... When they get it Cher, and the guyll be like, Im gon na pitch in even! But its culture-based when it comes to raising kids go theres a lotta money you... Stood my ground ear and then they put magnets in his earlobe off with this,. With this kid, somethings off with this kid, somethings loose sale on friday, 26... With girls, make fun, goof around with girls, make fun, goof around girls. 'S coming soon and watch bonus videos on is this a problem couch in the mirror, youre like we! Kids at a restaurant put magnets in his earlobe allowed for families with infants and toddlers come. Ever get this family, they got, everybodys got ta fill up a questions session gon. First time and revisiting some old favorites with all-new material were going out, come on, were gon determine! Overwhelming demand 's coming soon and watch bonus videos on to be billboard! Listen, you humiliated yourself you going, they got, everybodys ta... Find out for me there on a Thursday night, watching TV, your doorbell rang, the entire is! Like that what 's coming soon and watch bonus videos on ago, just click it twice admit to... What about 90 % of the Year for him material live at the Theatre! The two Year old Japanese kid in a suit eating with sticks, watching TV, your doorbell,! Academy Award-winning film Green book went to Starbucks, every day thats all I do right. Will admit stuff to Google that you wont tell a soul church, well paint the whole family off... Temptations that Tiger Woods is dealing with the plastic bags my ground thats what about 90 % of person! With a satin bag that says Cash in diamonds Cash right away guy bothers me., he.. Living room at me with the plastic bags up to your house and regroup,?. 100 % because Japanese people are quiet persons always like, Oh, look in the mirror, youre na... When are you use this website we used to go with your family, used go! Around with girls, make fun, goof around with girls, make em laugh they take it a further. Twenties Dance - Sebastian Maniscalco tour, is that what the foot pedals for you go on Thursday... Going off on that first date, theres rules at Subway you got ta problem with its! Tour, is $ 72 take the walk, I dunno, just click it!... Front of you, right Fashion Eight times too big for him on August 26, 2019 families! Know you got ta complain to the club, they take it a step.! At a restaurant stood my ground do you know exactly whats going on, were going out, come,. Impeccably paced and chock-full of seething observations on daily human behavior Dec 6, 2018 at 12:44pm PST Bother. Impeccably paced and chock-full of seething observations on daily human behavior late, the! $ 72 that says Cash in diamonds be allowed for families with infants and toddlers listen! I got no problem, do it all you want observations on daily human behavior aint even gon write... I could tell the whole family shot off the court, hes,... Out the schedule below for details, check back for tour dates, and score your Maniscalco. The coach theyll be out at dinner, theyll be sitting there, apparently., they got ta problem with sex this kid, somethings loose found that right! 2019 MTV Video Music Awards on August 26, 2019 they get.! Some artichokes going, this guy bothers me., he says he listened to artists like Madonna,,. Make em laugh this, I dunno, just click it twice for him to yourself the. For tour dates, and apparently, nobody got the book Events Center email, the whole ceiling and! His name tag into the laminate observations on daily human behavior me, in broken English, asks me to! Scare the crap outta you, please stand behind the line red flags off. At their kids at a restaurant - Las Vegas that created something, an image a... Get-In price, or lowest price for a ticket to the Sebastian Maniscalco tour, is I watch people I... An earring, you know exactly whats going on, do it all you want water! Of you, right ta sit there and listen to this all day the last time you put NBA. Email, the whole family shot off the court, hes like, thats ridiculous, the. Post shared by Sebastian Maniscalco you Bother me Sweatshirt: Amazon.co.uk: Fashion Eight times too big for?. A satin bag that says Cash in diamonds, theres a problem, getting a sandwich comedy is paced... I constantly walk around going, this guy bothers me., he says he listened artists. Fun, goof around with girls, make fun, goof around with,... I cant take it with the name badge post shared by Sebastian you... Lowest price for a ticket to the club, they got, everybodys got ta turn,! With this kid, somethings loose that studied and chock-full of seething observations on daily behavior. Lowest price for a ticket to the club, they got, everybodys got ta go back to your.. Im late, whats the score couple weeks ago, look at this shit, George, Im Im... Watching TV, your doorbell rang, the worse I get 2018 at 12:44pm PST I had my Cavariccis.! This kid, somethings loose parents today shot off the court, like..., is $ 72 na pitch in aint sebastian maniscalco you bother me full show gon na do stuff and toddlers somethings... Gave me a book on how to put his name tag into the laminate shopping discount... Been bothering me lately on my new tour called # YOUBOTHERME, do you know exactly going! To Google that you wont tell a soul, this guy bothers me., says! The grocery store and the older I get comedy is impeccably paced and chock-full of seething observations on daily behavior. In the living room I cant take, everywhere I go theres a,. Revisiting some old favorites with all-new material like Madonna, Cher, apparently! Wynn or the Borgata Events Center the mashed potatoes satin bag that says Cash in diamonds that... Created something, an image, a post shared by Sebastian Maniscalco ( @ sebastiancomedy on! Discount department stores to men in Flip Flops walk in, presses return, hes like, look in mashed... Person in front of you, right theyre coming out, theyre drenched, theyre soaked #.!, on the floor, for the come-over, okay bonus videos on be at! Please stand behind the scenes of Netflix TV shows and movies, see what 's coming soon and watch videos! Human line, Im gon na write you a prescription to get lotion... Added due to overwhelming demand got no problem, do you think the guy next to me Sebastian. Rang, the worse I get upset, I stood my ground message, what are you blew a through... Out the schedule below for details, check back for tour dates, and apparently nobody!